Hi Dad.  You’ve got company coming your way.  I hope you’ll like him.  He was probably the most influential father figure I had as I was growing up.  Out of the different men who came and went as I grew, none of them made such a profound impact in my life as he did.  I can honestly say that he really helped shape the man I am today.  And now, so shortly after I lost you, he is gone as well.

My earliest clear memory of G (again, withholding actual names) is also an unpleasant memory.  He and his family lived across the street from my Grandma.  We were over visiting, and I was sitting in the front yard playing with something.  My mom had just told me that G was going to take us down to the beach to go skating on the boardwalk.  That sounded so cool.  G was across the street with his brothers, hanging out in the front yard.  I remember hearing someone come out of my grandmas house and start one of the cars in the driveway.  The rest happened so fast.  The car sped out of the driveway and shot across the street.  G’s house was on a corner, and had an arched driveway that connected to both streets, and kind of arched in front of the house.  There were probably 3-4 cars in the driveway at the time and G and company were sitting in between 2 of the cars, lounging against them.  G, seeing the car coming quick, pushed everyone else out from between the two cars, but at the cost of not getting out in time.  His leg was caught between the bumper of two cars as the slammed together, instantly shattering his leg.  Not a great memory, but one I won’t ever forget.

As the years began to pass, G was more and more prominent in my life.  Sometimes we lived with him, sometimes not.  But as I got older, I started working with him during the summers for spending money.  I remember I would often spend time with him, or at his house, instead of at home (obviously, when we weren’t living together).  He always made me feel welcome, and included me in things he would do with friends and family.  Road trips, camping, canoeing, fishing, picnics, you name it.  He even taught me a trade.  I grew up tall and strong, and a lot of it had to do with him.

Eventually I grew up, married, and embarked on a new career.  My ex-wife didn’t care much for G (in all honesty, she didn’t care much for anyone that I loved), so I didn’t see him as much.  I remember going to game 7 of the World Series with G, and seeing the Marlins win the series at home.  Oh, was she mad about that.  But even though I couldn’t see him as much, he was always the one I knew I could turn to, if I needed.

And I did.  When my ex and I separated, he opened his home to me.  I lived with him for quite a while as I worked on my Divorce.  Both times, actually (yeah, that happened, but that’s a whole other story).  He was literally always there for me.  Sure, he wasn’t perfect.  But he always had my best interests at heart.

He also gave me a bigger family.  He was one of 8 siblings.  As I write this, we’ve now lost 4 of them (including G).  All of them accepted me as well, and I grew up with a bunch of older brothers for the most part.  Now, I’ll tell you this crowd was the rowdy bunch.  But at the same time, they were real men.  Something you don’t see much of nowadays.  They had many faults, but just like G had my best interests at heart all along.  I love and respect all of them for that.  They took me in when they didn’t have to.

I feel a little odd writing these words to you about how another man was so influential in my life, but I know in my heart you’ll understand.  I don’t know for sure how you and I were separated, but I didn’t have you in my life from a very young age until I was an adult with a family.  He was there when you couldn’t be.  Please don’t hold that against him.  I’d very much like for you to be friends.

I suppose this is a part of getting older.  I guess the older I get, the more often I’ll be losing the ones close to me.  But this especially stings.  I lost you, my father, not even a year ago.  And now, I lose the man who was the closest I had to a father figure while I was growing up.  It just feels too soon.

Since I got the call yesterday, I’ve had so much running through my mind.  A bunch of memories of him have been flooding back to me.  I’d like to share some of them with you.

The one time I’ve ever been out of the country was with G.  Him, some of his brothers, and some guys from work all went on a fishing trip to Canada.  We went to a place (now closed) called Caeser’s Lodge on St Anne du Lac (I think I got that right).  We spent a week at a cabin out in the middle of nowhere in central Canada.  There wasn’t another person (besides our guide who actually lived a few miles away across the lake) for over 50 miles in any direction.  Was definitely one of those lifetime memories.  I have some funny stories from that, as well.

I remember driving up to Pennsylvania to visit his mom.  I remember another trip we took to Texas when I was even younger, to visit his sister.  When I was older, we took a trip to Las Vegas and did the cool stuff there.  I did travel and see much with him.

I remember a bunch of us took a 5 or 7 day canoe trip once.  Through a really bad miscommunication we did not have enough food.  We finished the canoe trip after about 2 days of heavy paddling, and we all went straight to a Burger King where we feasted on Double Whoppers.

I remember being the youngest guy in the men’s softball league (at least I think I was… I was 16 surrounded by all of these huge men).  I remember one game where I was playing second and G was on First, and we turned a tight double play.  We made plenty of plays together, but that one stands out for some reason.  I remember going to “Cumbies” after our games (Cumberland Farms), to get some drinks with the team.

I could probably keep going.  Suffice to say he was a large part of my life.  While I didn’t see him as much as I used to (he has lived a few hours away in the southern part of the state for a few years now), I never passed up an opportunity to see him when he was in town.  I last saw him just a few weeks ago.  He was looking real good, too.  He slimmed down a bit since I had last seen him, but he still looked strong and vibrant.  I suppose that’s why this came as such a shock.

I don’t yet know what arrangements are going to be made.  I’m sure I’ll be heading down that way probably for a couple days at least.  And I’m sure it’s not going to be easy.  But I’ll get through it.  Especially if I imagine the two of you watching over me.

I love you Dad.  And I love you G, my second Dad.